Eric's story was originally an email he sent to friends and family after the birth of his son Miles. Thanks to Eric and his family for sharing it with everyone!
Greetings from the afterbirth,
I've got some good news or bad news, depending on if you think of my procreation as a good or a bad thing. Either way, I've done it. Stephanie and I created Miles, a beautiful healthy boy who has sandy blonde hair and milky blue eyes.
However I do have something to say: if anyone is weighing the pros and cons of using midwives vs. a standardized birth, I recommend the former. Truly, the decision is for the woman to make, and we are lucky to have so many different options, but if you are interested in a natural birth, midwifery is great.
A good portion of Stephanie's 8 hour active labor left her and I alone in the birthing room. The midwives would come in about every half hour to monitor the baby's heart beat and Stephanie's well-being, and then leave us again. The midwives just left us to do our thing and offer advice when needed. It made the birth exciting and intimate. (We were the only ones giving birth at that time, which is what normally what happens there).
Not to compare my efforts with hers, but supporting a woman in labor is extremely demanding. Not only did I have to push hard yet delicately (if that makes any sense) most of the time, I had to do it from the oddest angles as she kept shifting, moving in and out of the tub and such, craving a counter-pressure to the baby's pressure on her spine.
Her mom joined in about 1/2 way through and we pushed and rubbed on her as best we could as Stephanie made the most beautiful sounds of pain that emanated from somewhere deep within and actually sounded like an echoing call from a jungle creature in pain. I had never heard such pure emotion in a yell.
Stephanie deserves all the credit, and yet, when we finally got to the end, after eight hours of active labor (and a day and a half of prelabor we spent together at home after the water broke), seeing the head poke out and catching him myself is truly about the most amazing thing I've ever done. I felt as if I too had earned this baby. I was not expecting this feeling of ownership of the birth.
Of course, I didn't really catch him. One of our midwives helped me receive him and quickly set him down, wiped the mucus from his nose and did a quick vitals check as he started to cry (because Stephanie had not taken any drugs, our baby was not drugged and lethargic either).
Stephanie kept changing positions throughout but finally gave birth on all fours on the bed. The vitals check was done at her feet. Seeing everything was fine, they slid Miles forward between her legs. Stephanie scooped him up (less than a minute after the birth), announced he was a boy, and then cradled him, talking to him as though she hadn't just been through the most draining experience of her life. She wasn't out of breath or talking with a sense of relief at all. She just reached out to him with calm and warmth. That will remain one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Then they left us alone for an hour wherein we decided on a name. That's right. No one bothered us with birth certificate papers or removed Miles from us for any nonessential tasks until we were ready. One whole hour alone in a quiet, old house converted into a birth center.
| Eric and Miles during the first hour. |
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After that hour, they weighed him. Then they sutured up her slight tears. Then we slept. The next morning, the head midwife- who slept on a couch in the next room- made us breakfast. Can you imagine a doctor doing that? We didn't do the official paperwork involved with birth until right before we left. (Actually, she gave it to us, but we haven't filled it out yet.)
I am so lucky. Because of midwifery, I got to be a key part of the birth process and to truly support Stephanie.
I am also lucky to have such a courageous partner. Giving birth is scary enough, but she chose a birth plan that seems even scarier than using a hospital (although the opposite is true for us), but I believe in the end we all benefited from that choice.
Hospitals and western medicine have their place in our society, but if your prenatal care doesn't deem the lady "at risk" for birth, and the mother is healthy and willing, I recommend trying the midwife option.
Thanks for reading yet another long email from me.
with love,
Eric
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