A midwife gives birth

My husband and I had planned on having a baby after I graduated and so after attending over eighty births, it was finally my turn!  My due date, just as I had expected came and went with out any inclination of labor.  But, two days later, I had my first contraction of my whole pregnancy.  It was mild but I was thinking it might just be the start of something.  Through the day I played it cool, even though contractions had become regular by the evening but only every 15-20 minutes. 

So everyone thinks midwives have easy births.  Well maybe other ladies, but I was in the group of the normal first time mom births-- long and hard.  I knew I should sleep.  I walked around and around my small 800 square foot house all night saying aloud “I’m a midwife- I know I need to go to sleep!”  But like most first time moms, it was too hard to sleep in between uncomfortable contractions! So by 5:30 am I broke down and called Kori because after checking myself I knew I wasn’t far and I wanted confirmation.

Of course I was really hoping Kori would come and say that I was terrible at dilation check and really I was much further along.  Oh well, I was only 3 cms.  I told her to go out and enjoy her day as I, unfortunately, was only in early labor. 

The sun came up and I continued walking around my house.  The contractions were pretty rough when I sat down so I stayed on my feet the whole day.  I tried eating, as the midwife in me kept telling me to do things that I just really didn’t want to do!  Although contractions had gotten more intense, by mid-day they had spaced out and I was frustrated.  I called Kate to fill her in and maybe even get sympathy.  She asked me what I wanted to do about it, since I of course was still very much in my midwifery brain and indeed knew what there was to do about it.  I mumbled something and she came over. 

I asked Kate to check me and I had progressed to a whopping 6 cms.  I wasn’t thrilled but could handle it.  I continued to walk, lunge, and squat.  Danny walked with me, holding me through contractions.  He asked me if I had decided this was painful enough to only have one baby… I replied “Nope, I want my multip (2nd+) birth!” 

A little while later, my contraction pattern picked up and Kori came back.  Again, I asked to be checked… labor had gotten harder and I was getting tired.  I needed Danny to apply hard counter-pressure on my sacrum through every contraction- which surprised me because I had told everyone earlier that I disliked pressure on my sacrum but I was now in labor and all things were now thrown out the window.  Kori checked… no luck.  I was still a measly 6 cms.  She tried encouraging me but I didn’t believe any of it.  It had been a couple hours with no progression, and I wasn’t too happy.  I asked if she could stretch my cervix, if it was favorable I wanted to progress!  As a disclaimer—we don’t usually do this… midwives patiently wait for dilation to occur as the body unfolds… except when you are a midwife in labor!  I was done being patient!  So with the next contraction, my cervix was stretched from 6 cms to 8 cms.  It hurt but that was fine by me.  I got into the tub as labor picked up, it was hard to catch my breath at this point.   

The tub felt great, it was the first time I was able to get off my now swollen feet all day and night.  But then my contractions spaced out again so Kori decided to run out and get her and Danny food.I knew this was not a good sign.  Kate had already left so Danny and I were alone.  Another disclaimer—don’t worry, your midwives won’t leave you in active labor, they just knew I unfortunately still had time.  Although I enjoyed the break I knew spaced out contractions would not get a baby out so I got out of the tub.

From then on, contractions started piling on top of each other.  I was experiencing back labor like I never thought possible.  I had not expected to have a posterior baby and labor; there wasn’t a reprieve from the pain.  My midwives returned and I got back into the tub late Sunday night.  At one point I yelled to the ladies “I need someone in here!” and Kate quickly came into the room to support me through the intense contractions.  Kate was just what I needed… she stared into my eyes and made sounds like “mmmm” and said things like “I know” when I whined about how much it hurt.  The whole time she looked at me and said these things I thought to myself “funny, I’ve said these things before” but it worked!  Between those moments and Danny being by my side all labor I was able to progress.  I knew I still had an anterior lip and not fully complete but I needed to meet my baby.  I had hit my wall and I knew there wasn’t any other way out of this but I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer.  I got out of the tub and while in my favorite room- the bathroom (I had hung out in the bathroom for many hours holding onto the sink and leaning over it or squatting) I had a crazy contraction.  It was a long five minutes of intensity and during the middle of it I managed to look at Kate and say “it’s still going on!”  and once it had finally subsided I grumpily stated “that’s not normal!”  But we soon found out it was that long contraction that my baby finally turned in preparation for birth.

Once again, I told everyone exactly what I wanted—I got onto my hands and knees, had Kate hold my cervical lip, and started pushing.  Wow, this part I didn’t mind!  It gave me something to do.  After about 20 minutes I felt inside my vagina and felt my baby’s head.  It was amazing feeling my baby’s head moving down in my vagina and not a client’s baby being born.  I squeezed Danny’s hands as hard as I could as I continued pushing.  I guarded my own tissue as the baby moved lower and lower.  At one point someone asked about the position of the baby’s head and although I was happy that the end was in sight I was still hoping for more and replied “it could be better!” 

I told Danny to go look or at least feel our baby’s head.  He put one fingertip in my vagina and announced he had felt the head and quickly retreated back to my head!  But it got better… after a little over an hour of pushing, I felt the crazy “ring of fire” and pushed my baby out.  I picked her up as quickly as I could from between my legs and clutched her wet and slightly bloody body to my chest and let out a sigh of relief!  We had a feeling I was carrying a boy but… our baby was a girl to much of our surprise and delight!

Just like most women, labor was more intense yet so much more amazing than I had anticipated! It was long and hard and I wasn’t able to get out of my midwife brain until after I was holding my baby girl- and this was only due to exhaustion and pure exhilaration!  Even though my birth was not calm or quick as I had thought it may be, Neshamah’s birth was beautiful and I feel blessed to have given birth at home supported by my midwives/friends and loving husband.

Read more birth stories